To Be, or Not to Be…

Part of the reason I write is because I can’t get my brain to slow down and be still. It’s always been that way for me, ever since I was young. This has served me well in a lot of areas of my life. But truth be told… It can be exhausting and frustrating. Reality can never keep up with the pace in my mind which has resulted in a personality of impatience.

My thoughts are in constant motion, jumping from one subject to the next and my dreams are the same. I’m sure they make medication for that, but I’ve always preferred a more creative outlet and have been fortunate to find one.

It seems as though over the years, I’ve tried something else.

Instead of rushing toward the next goal and finding frustration when I don’t get there quickly enough, I’ve been trying to stop and see where I’m stepping a long the way. As a person who has consistently been labelled a “results oriented” person, it has been a Herculean feat to be able to do this. But after many hard lessons, two children, and some much needed perspective, I’m FINALLY able to enjoy not only the results, but the journey and what it takes to get there.

I’m learning how to just, “BE.”

Be… In the moment.
Be… Content.
Be… Satisfied.
Be… Thankful.
Be… Kind and compassionate.
Be… Appreciative.
Be… Patient.
Be… Tolerant.
Be… Attentive.
Be… Understanding.
Be… Happy.

It’s easier, for me, to revert to the opposite of all of these “Be’s”. It’s a fast paced world and we are constantly obligated and busy. We are moving more toward instant gratification in our society than we should ever be. We are glued to our smart phones, instant communication, instant everything.

Myself included.

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology and instant results. I’m addicted to it, just like the next person. But one day, I woke up and suddenly I’m more than halfway through my life expectancy and I can’t pick up my babies anymore because they are too big. And I wonder, where did my life go?

I’ve been on this path of “just being” for a while now. While it goes against my very nature, but I find that when I stop, and take it all in, I feel more accomplished. I am content in a way that I never realized was possible. and I am at peace.

To Be… Or Not to Be. Should it really be a question?

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