Thankful for This Life

I purposely didn’t post a blog on Thanksgiving about how thankful I was. Not because I thought I was above doing it. It’s because I wanted to give the concept of thankfulness a little more thought. I wanted to write something that didn’t sound trite and recycled. I wanted to express exactly how thankful I am.

The truth is, I AM extremely thankful for this life that I’ve been given, more than I can share.

So much so, that it sometimes feel more like fear or painful awareness than Thankfulness. I’ve been through some things in my life that I will never write about because they are just too horrible to revisit, and some things that I will never remember, that are probably equally so. For me to share my true thankfulness, I would have to share my entire life, which I won’t do. I believe that some things are meant to remain locked up deep inside, private and painful, to remind you of how fortunate you are to get to live.

The parts I share, through my writing, I only share because I know just how thankful I deserve to be.

My life has been a fabric of different thread, weaving in and out, bright and colorful, sometimes shameful, and often outright ugly. But each thread has meaning. Without one, there couldn’t be another, or another, or another, and then I would be nothing. Colorless, meaningless, without one stitch of gratitude within me. There have been many times that I have wished for that. But I realize that without it, I would cease to be what makes me who I am.

But life is hard. And there are moments when I want to pull my hair out and scream because I wish it was more. And then there are other times that I want to sit comatose, staring out of a window, because I wish it was less. More often, I feel that the true secret may be, just accepting what IS, which is something that I struggle with every single day. As a well-known, and well documented “control freak,” accepting that there are things outside of my control, has been the most brutal lesson of my entire life. It is the lesson that I believe is the key to understanding gratitude in its truest form.

I don’t think that I am there yet.

I still struggle too much with my life, with my path, with the threads that make me who I am. I look far too often at the road I’ve travelled instead of at the road ahead. And I’m still entirely too haunted, angry, and sad on a regular basis to live out this guise of thankfulness fully and truthfully every day.

But I’m trying.

I know where I need to go. I can see it, touch it, taste it. And some days I even achieve it, if not for the briefest of moments. Just sitting back, accepting, and appreciating what my life IS while acknowledging the path that I’ve taken to get there is truly being thankful. It’s not wishing that the thread were a different color, or woven a different way. It’s looking at the tapestry as a whole and understanding that true beauty is in the richness of each individual stitch. It’s loving each thread and not wishing that one had been different, or placed somewhere else.

I look forward to the day that I can look at my life that way, every day. I know in my mind that I have gotten here by decisions that I’ve made, and decisions that were made for me. I know that I am not a victim and that I choose how I view my life. And when it’s all said and done, that how I choose to view my life which will determine how I feel about it in the end.

With each passing day, it gets a little easier. And when I look into the eyes of my sweet, innocent, amazing children, is when I am the closest to feeling gratitude and life makes more sense. In the deepest place in my heart, I feel the glow of thankfulness and happiness every day. But I wanted to be honest so it didn’t sound as though I walk around on cloud nine, every day of my life.

Life is difficult, and we have to seek out the beauty that finds its way through the pain. And when we can do so, we can truly be more thankful.  

   

Advertisements

42 thoughts on “Thankful for This Life

    • That’s so beautiful! I’m so happy for your aunt! My beautiful niece has been cancer free for a couple of years now. I know how hard it is when someone you love is battling for their life. I am happy for you and your family! ❤

      Like

    • I am thankful for that too Jennifer, and also very thankful for YOU. I feel like an entirely new world has been opened up to me since beginning this journey. I am truly in love with all of the wonderful authors and bloggers that I have met. The compassion and support has been amazing and overwhelming. It has been such a wonderful experience!

      Like

  1. I’m thankful for my husband, who been heart transplant in 2006, brain injury last year and back surgery this year. Even though all of the medical problems he still has a wonderful outlook on life and love.

    Like

  2. I am thankful my grandchildren finally live close enough to see on the weekends. They were oversees so we didn’t to see them often. So thankful!

    Like

    • My children absolutely adore their grandparents!!! I am so happy that they have such a close relationship. It is wonderful that your grandchildren are closer to you now. I am so happy for you and your grandchildren! You are both so fortunate to have one another ❤

      Like

  3. I am thankful for my family and friends that have been there for my family the last 4 years. The support and love that they have giving us has been amazing! #CancerSucks

    Like

    • I am so thankful that you have such wonderful friends and family to support you! My niece went through cancer and it was the hardest time of their lives. Our family became so much closer during that time. We appreciate each other so much more now. I wish you and your family the best ❤

      Like

  4. that was great and I have come to that conclusion as well. sometimes things happen in our lives that make you really understand what is important

    Like

    • When life is difficult and unsure, we wish it was better and easier. But then when you come out of it, you see colors and depth in your life that you never noticed before. So as difficult as life can sometimes be, I’m thankful for the awareness and appreciation of all that I have.

      I’m so happy that people are sharing what they are thankful for in their lives. It is really beautiful!

      Like

  5. Thankyou so much for the giveaway. Not sure if supposed to comment here or in the giveaway one but it said Thankful for this life so here I am:). I am truly thankful for my family. They are my world and always put a smile on my face and joy in my heart. I am also though, thankful for all of you authors and bloggers that spend so much time, n work so hard doing all that you do. Your books mean so very much to me and even just the blogs where I get to interact with people who feel the same as I do as well as the generous giveaways that allow me to have a chance to win things I’d never be able to get otherwise, all are just so special to me.. That’s exactly how I found your books and I am so grateful I did! Books are so much more to me than just entertainment. I believe they are good for the soul and to have people like yourself that open your own heart n soul to give us such beauty is just so appreciated and truly loved. It’s a special world, the book world:) in my opinion and I am extremely thankful to be even just a tiny little part of it. Thanks again for everything. ❤

    Like

    • One of the most wonderful things about telling a story is having someone to tell it to. That has been the beauty of being able to share my books with others. I’m very thankful for bloggers and people like you who share my books! Thank YOU!!!!!

      Like

      • I just cannot keep up! 🙂 Just left another comment under giveaway post bc thought I was supposed to do it here, then thought supposed to do it there:) hehe. Also said to please read this comment if u were able. U obviously did though so just ignore that part!:) you are way more on top of things than me! U really are amazing, lots of ❤ !

        Like

  6. I’m truly thankful for so much. Especially the fact that I’m not even 25 (13 days to go…) and I am in my chosen career field; have passed the certification exam (last year), and am thankful I was able to stay on at my internship as an employee after graduating and experiencing so many things I most likely wouldn’t have had. Especially given the status of the economy 3.5 years ago. Also thankful for my family; they have helped make me who I am, and I’m pretty happy with that. Some ups and downs (even more than some), but overall, I’ve come through all that to become someone I can honestly say is positive and someone I am glad to have grown to be. I am thankful for the opportunity to save two dogs in the last year and a half. Adopted my first (just months after losing a furbaby way too young) last year and then we were able to save an older girl whose human mom passed away last month and family couldn’t take her. I’m in a good place, physically and mostly mentally (we all have issues, though, i think…). Try to remind myself that every day, especially on the days I don’t really feel as I should.

    Like

    • Thank you so much for sharing! You’re right, that we have to look for things to be thankful for every day. I think we all can get caught up in the down cycle of life and lose sight of the good things all together. My fur babies are rescues too, and there is nothing better! It seems that you look for your happiness and sometimes that is the very best that thing to do!! Thank you so much for sharing!<3

      Like

  7. I am thankful for my children and grandchildren and for all of the wonderful authors that take me away from real life for a short period of time

    Like

  8. I am most thankful for my family & getting to spend time with them over the holidays. Getting to see my nieces & nephews is always one of the things that makes me happy!!

    Like

  9. I’m Thankful for a healthy family Beautiful and healthy Grand children. The nice weather we have been having. We haven’t had to use a lot of coal so far and it’s lasting longer for us..

    Like

  10. What’s Going down i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It absolutely useful and it has
    helped me out loads. I’m hoping to give a contribution & help other users like its aided me.
    Great job.

    Like

    • Thank you so much. I’m glad it’s been useful for you and I appreciate your comments so much! Feel free to re blog and share it with others.
      Being thankful is still something I have to remind myself to do, everyday. But it’s worthwhile.
      I appreciate you taking the time to read it.
      Best,
      Jennifer

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s