Shiny Objects…

So, I’m working on my third book. And it’s going painfully slow.

Painfully.

I decided that the story was getting too dark. I decided that I need my main character to experience a little more love in her life. So now I need to go back and add it. The love that is. The truth is… I love dark stories. I always have. The twistier and uglier, the better. I think that’s why I loved mythology when I was a girl. Mythology rarely had the Happily Ever After and I was good with that, even at a young age.

My first two books were dark. Sad, ugly, tragic, and dark. I actually wrote about people killing and being killed, which surprised me because I didn’t plan it that way. It just happened because that’s where the story went. That is the beauty of writing, at least for me. Something comes out of nothing and then the unexpected happens. Magic.

But I’m having a hard time getting to a point in the story that makes me feel like I have finally made progress. I’m at least, if not more than halfway into the first draft. Once the draft is done, I tell myself that I’ll feel more resolved but chances are that I won’t. Since I’ve been writing again there is a consistent sense of things being undone. I feel more sane and there is a lot less chaos in my head, but I definitely feel a lack of completion in my daily life.

The fact is, I’m just busy. With a full time career that has full time responsibilities, a beautiful but active family, two dogs, parents who aren’t in the best of health, and a brain that won’t settle down… it’s hard to find the time to write. Even now, I’m blogging when I should be trying to figure out why my characters love each other so much. But I am writing and the exercise of writing and creating is what gives me peace, helps me breathe, and quiets the noise in my head. It always has. But moments like this don’t come every day.

My last post was about needing a vacation. But truly, I know that I can’t take a vacation from my own mind, only from some of the rigors of life. I’m always questioning how I can finish the next book, and with each one it becomes increasingly more difficult. But I do know that I need to be more disciplined in my writing. Writing instead of Facebooking tweeting, and daydreaming about writing. I need to just hunker down, “clear the mechanism” (For Love of the Game), and write, even if it stinks. I can work out the bugs after the first draft is done, after my editor and awesome pre-readers get done hacking it up.

Sometimes I am frustrated because I feel that there are so many stories to tell, yet not enough hours in the day to tell them in. When I began my first book, I told myself that I would feel like a writer after it was done. Then it became, after the second book is finished. Now it feels like, after the third book is finished, I may finally feel like a writer.

But who knows? Maybe I will never feel complete again. Maybe that is what compels me to write, this inward sense that there is so much more to write about. I’m hoping that after I finish this third book, that I will be able to take a little teensy weensy break before I write the third book in the Eva series. The overall 3rd Book, tentatively titled Run to You, was meant to give me a break from the heaviness of the Eva series. This was supposed to be my easy novel. As it turns out, it has actually become my most difficult in many ways. Now that my main character wants more love, it’s proven to be more challenging. But being more challenged it great!

So I gotta go now and try to bang out some more of this story. That is unless another shiny object comes floating by…

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10 thoughts on “Shiny Objects…

  1. Turn on music, try not to sing along, and just write. That’s what I’ve had to do with my writing. I started my first book in May 2013, and then I just stopped. I hadn’t even finished a chapter until January of this year, and that’s only because I was bored one day and had nothing to do. Sometimes you just need a break from it.

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    • That’s great advice. I can’t write to music though… I am waaaaay to distracted. And because I sometimes think that I can channel the artist, I get too carried away with singing and forget to write. ;).

      I’ve been taking a lot of breaks. I did that with my first book. I put it down for months at a time. This one has been for weeks at a time. It’s just really screaming to be finished. 🙂

      So I’m plugging away. Trying not to get in the way of myself. I think that I’m the biggest distraction in this whole crazy process!!!

      Thank you for the sound advice! ❤

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      • It’s often helpful when someone else takes the time to give their perspective! If I wasn’t a rock star in my own mind, the music thing would def work for me. Music is so inspiring and it always helps to get things moving. 🙂

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      • Pfft. I’m totally a rockstar too. I did the whole singing into my hairbrush (brushophone) and the air guitar thing when I was younger. I wanted to be a singer when I grew up. Funny how that works, huh? :p

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      • What if I said that I still do that?! I mean… I don’t ever do that! Ever! And I DO know that I’m not invisible in my car and that people can see me rocking out and singing at the top of my lungs. Of course I know that, silly!

        Yes… Childhood dreams… Gotta love them! 😀

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      • Hn…maybe if you try listening to classical or international music, you can resist the urge to rock out to it because you don’t know the words. It’s worth a shot. :p

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  2. I totally agree with you. Having finished & published my .first novel, I set about on my second. But waiting in the wings was another one I’d started years ago, and I got a new” lease on life” for that one. Then NaNoWriMo came along, & I started another one, but didn’t get it finished in time, but now it’s almost done, I’d say 80%. Last week another idea hit me, and I am trying to ignore it, but it seems I can’t concentrate on my former WIP. I DON’T want to start a new one…but …what if? Too many shiny objects here.

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    • You sound like me! 🙂 I finally committed to one project and have been sticking with it. I had to push past some of the awkwardness I was feeling with the story, until it started to flow. I’ve hit that wall before and then stopped because I wasn’t sure how to continue. This time, I just continued to writ even when I knew it was bad. Now I have to go back through and clean it up, but at least it is flowing. I understand where the characters are going a little better now.

      Shiny objects. Their killing me!:D

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