Tag Archive | about me

30 Day Writing Challenge-Ten Things

Today’s challenge is to share TEN interesting things about myself. I’ll give it a go, but I can’t promise how interesting they’ll be. 😳😳

  1. I’m short but I always think that I’m bigger than what I am. I’m always surprised when I realize how short  I really am, compared to others.
  2. What you see is what you get. I’m honest, open, and truthful, sometimes to a fault. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have a filter but it does mean that you always know where you stand with me.
  3. I wanted to be a teacher when I was younger. I love watching people grasp new ideas and concepts, as well as doing so myself. I love to learn and think that constantly challenging your mind is so important. A big part of my job now is teaching others and its extremely rewarding. I don’t think that you’re ever too old to learn something new! 
  4. I’ve worked for the same company for almost seventeen years. I love my job and the people I get to work with. It’s challenging and interesting and every day there is something new. The people I work with are talented, fun, and passionate and I’m very thankful for them and the opportunities I’ve been given.
  5. Music and writing are my therapy. Listening to music and writing keeps me sane and my preference of each depend on how I’m feeling at the moment.
  6. I swear … a lot. I’m a lover of words, even the profane ones. But I do have an excellent filter so it’s okay to leave your little ones near me! 
  7. I LOOOOOVE babies and dogs and they usually love me. Babies turn me into a puddle of mush and sunshine and even though I don’t want anymore of my own, if there was a job holding babies I’d be first in line to apply. đŸ‘¶đŸŒâ˜€ïž
  8. I’m a glass-half-full kind of girl but I’m also a realistic. I expect, anticipate, and hope for the best but I also know when it isn’t going to happen, and then adjust accordingly. People who are negative because they make me stabby because life is too short to always dwell on the bad.
  9. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life at a young age. Two friends gone far too young in car accidents, my grandparents, a life-long friend and family member, and  then my father.  Those losses have bruised me and taught me not to sweat the small stuff. They’ve taught me to enjoy what I have and be happy with the life I’ve been given. Life is too short to expect that it will be anything less than spectacular. 
  10. My worst trait is that I’m impatient but my children have taught me how to be much more patient over the years. They’ve made me a better person in every way and especially in this one.

Despite everything on this list, I’m not Mary Sunshine. I write to keep the demons at bay and I work very hard to not let life consume me. I can be angry, difficult, petulant, and petty. I can be ugly, inside and out, but I know that’s just part of being human. There are times when I just myself go because I know that I’m far from perfect and will try harder the next day. I don’t know how interesting this, was but if you made it to the end, then you know a little more about me! 😊😊😊

We’re Growing Up

I wondered when it would finally happen and I realize, it’s happening now.

My children are no longer “babies.”

They are growing into young men right before my very eyes which gives me such mixed emotions. While part of me is happy to see them thrive and grow, the other part mourns the loss of the babies I once held in my arms. I can’t believe how quickly the years have already gone, and I anticipate the ones to come will pass with equal swiftness. I am not even remotely ready to be the mother of teenagers, or to have them shun me with the contempt most boys of that age feel for their parents. I’m not ready for them to believe they have surpassed intellectually and in their knowledge of the world. I’m not prepared for them to begin blaming me for my shortcomings as a parent or resenting me for doing too much of one thing, or not enough of another.

I already find that I miss the complete and utter adoration and admiration when in their eyes, I was perfect, amazing, and could do nothing wrong.

I realize the window on my motherly perfection is beginning to close and there is nothing I can do to keep it open. My boys are becoming more savvy in the ways of the world as it becomes bigger for them, day by day. I am happy and excited for their new experiences, but at the same time, I am fearful. Perhaps, less for them and more for myself.

Being a parent was easier when I could hold them in my arms when they cried and their tears would simply disappear simply because I was near them. It was comforting to me when I could soothe their little pains or problems with kisses and hugs, or words of wisdom they would listen to with big eyes and open ears. But as they get older and their problems get bigger I realize their ears won’t always be as open, their problems will get much larger, and I will no longer appear to be as smart as I was when they were two. It’s great for your ego when you have two little people who hang on your every word and think that everything you say is the most important thing in the world. The narcissist in me will definitely miss that!

It makes me sad to anticipate the changes that are before me as a mother and them as brothers. I liked when my kids thought I was fun, smart, and cool. They still feel that way, but I can see the veil slowly starting to lift until I am revealed to be “just mom.” While being a mom to young children is exhausting, it is also incredibly wonderful for your ego. After all, is there ever another time in your life when you are ever so incredibly loved and adored as when your children are young? Sadly, I also see the slow but sure separation between brothers as they find their own friends and interests, and the loss of closeness saddens me. We’ve raised them to look out for one another and I hope they will always find their way back to one another as first friends and as brothers. As the next phase of motherhood is barreling upon me, I find that I am full of trepidation. Will I know what to do? Will I be able to help them with their bigger problems? Will I be as effective and patient? What do I know about ‘boy’ problems? Will they care what I have to say? Will I still be able to guide them into adulthood to be good men?

I know I can’t stop them from growing up and I am excited for this next phase of their lives. The independence and confidence that shines within them is amazing and incredible, and I am proud of all of us for getting them to this point. I look at them and am in awe that a decade ago, they weren’t on the planet, and now here they are bringing happiness to my life every day. While I have such hopes and dreams for them, I can’t wait to find out what theirs will be and how to help them get there.

I’m growing up with them and I can’t wait to continue growing old with them.