Tag Archive | self-fulfillment

The Good One-New Release

So … I did a thing.

I released my seventh book and my first one of 2018! Shortly after The Missing Piece Anthology was released, I published The Good One.

There wasn’t a lot of fanfare or even a great big plan, because that’s just how I roll sometimes. I was on a mission to get this book published by April 10th and I made it by the skin of my teeth.

I have a confession to make… This was a tough one to write for a number of reasons.

As a working mother who is also an author, it can be difficult to juggle the writing life with my everyday life. Writing is something I do because I need to, for my soul. I do it for me alone and I’ve been fortunate to find a few beautiful people who love to read the words I put on the page.

Like many Mom-needs, the need to write often gets put on the back burner because homework, packing lunches, doctor appointments, and that other thing I love called my full-time gig, takes precedent. Believe me, I’m not complaining. All of those things mean that I have people who love me and a place that I get to go to that pays me for a job that I love to do. (I’m a pretty lucky girl

Still, finding time to write can be a struggle. With this book came a deadline because it was part of a series that joins me with other writers, and other books, in a place called the Happy Endings Resort. Being included in this has been such a privilege and a challenge because I don’t often write to a deadline. The challenge was awesome and stressful, but I loved it and would do it again in a second.

In an effort to streamline my productivity, I wrote much of the first draft using dictation. Ugh! While I was able to get more words on the page, the page was probably wondering what in the hell I was doing most of the time. Words were garbled, sentences were butchered, and my main character’s name was wrong (Livvie) about seventy-five percent of the time. In addition, the story went in about fifteen different directions because I was speaking it instead of seeing it. I can barely remember what I had for breakfast, let alone what color my main character’s eyes (brown) were half the time because I can’t remember anything.

Often I felt as though dictation was an experiment gone wrong so I was waiting for my laptop to explode because of how horrible the story was. Thank goodness, after moving chapters around, deleting so many words (soooo many words), and then reworking the story multiple times, it finally came together.

Finally.

Or at least hopefully. The only person who’s read it so far has been my editor and she said not to worry because it was good. I didn’t even have time to give it to my trusted beta readers. So, I worry because all writers worry when others are reading our stories. We are crippled with self-doubt every time a new book come out, a new story is created, and new characters are borne. It’s in our nature and whether I have seven books or fifty, I’ll always worry.

This is me, writing the synopsis. Omg!

Here’s the synopsis and if you’d like to join my review team, I’d love to have you! Just sign up here!

The Good One

Olivia and her sister Molly grew up in a trailer park in a small resort town called Happy Endings, but their life together was far from happy.

When the unthinkable happens, Olivia must learn how to live without the person she loves the most and she is forced to keep secrets that she buries deep within.

Thirteen years later, an accidental collision gives Olivia the chance to finally experience love with Danny, who promises to always protect her. As Olivia and Danny build a life together she is suddenly forced to face a past she has struggled to forget.

Can Olivia find the strength within to save herself or will she lose everything, in Part One of The Good One?

Goodreads link-Check out The Good One: Part One by Jennifer Sivec

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39794604

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Being Mom

I never pictured myself being a mom, when I was a young girl. I didn’t think about being one when I was a teenager or even as a young adult in my twenties. I didn’t even know if I wanted to be one when I got married. Being a mom just wasn’t anything I considered, although I knew at some point I would have to figure it out.

The first time I held a baby, the poor thing cried because I was so nervous. It’s not that I didn’t like kids, in fact I loved them. I babysat, was a camp counselor, and spent a lot of time with my niece who was my favorite kid.

But fortunately being a mom got to be a conscious decision, for me. I knew it meant giving up a lot of who I was and the life I was accustomed to. I knew being a mom meant sleepless nights and lifelong commitment to people I didn’t yet know. Then one day, having children became something I wanted more than anything and I’ve never looked back. I LOVE being a mom. It’s fun, exciting, fulfilling, demanding and rewarding. In addition to loving and absolutely adoring them, I really LIKE my kids and I think they LIKE me, as well.

But when I was a younger mom, I forgot one major thing. Me. I was so caught up in the diapers, sleepless nights, and juggling new motherhood, family, and career, I completely and totally lost sight of myself. It’s a common phenomenon and every mom I’ve ever talked to experiences the same thing. After nearly a decade, I’m learning that being Mom doesn’t mean I have to cease being ‘Jen.’ Finally discovering that, makes me unbelievably happy. It’s not that I am not completely in love with my two crazy, beautiful children. But I also want to love and be proud of myself, too.

I’ve been able to find a way to do that through a love and passion, temporarily forgotten. Writing.

Writing has helped me in every aspect of my life, as I feel a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment that I’ve been missing. It’s not that career, family, and motherhood haven’t been enough for me. They’ve been more than enough and to have all of those things in my life make me feel incredibly fortunate and blessed. But from a young age, I was always a writer. And getting to write again, has made having a career, family, and being a mother tremendously sweeter. It has opened my eyes to just how beautiful and fulfilling my life is, and it has made everything better.

While being Mom is without question, the most important role I have ever lived, getting to be ‘Jen the writer’ is a wonderful role as well. As a parent, we put themselves on the back burner, often forgetting ourselves completely. Whether it’s writing, crafting, an hour at the salon, a visit to a coffee shop, or a night out with girlfriends, it’s important we remember who we are and what makes us happy. It means we get to be more content for our children and ultimately, makes us better parents.

I’ve come to the realization that one of the greatest gifts I can give my children, is Me. I’m their protector, encourager, motivator, and teacher. But I’m also the person to teach them that following your path in life means being true to yourself. And even though I have boys, I’m hoping this lesson will sink in when they are fathers or they need to support and encourage their overwhelmed wives.

My life has nearly come full circle from a place I wasn’t happy to be in-a few years ago, to a place I am ecstatic to be in-now. I have everything I love; job, family, life, and my writing. I give myself permission to write and shut out the world, when I want to or even sometimes need to. Not because it’s something I’m able to ‘do’, but because it’s who I am; a dreamer and a story teller. Writing takes me back to my childhood where I was enthralled with myths and fairy tales. It thrills my imagination, excites my soul, and awakens my spirit. It’s the miracle of creating something from nothing, and blending creativity with tenacity, which is ironically how I’ve always regarded motherhood. And through it all, I realize the two go hand in hand.

Now I know now how amazing my life is, being Mom.

For Me…

It’s no secret. I juggle. Everyday.

And with the busiest time of the year upon us, I know that I will desperately cling to my sanity as I do every year.

Sometimes I have so many balls in the air, I know that I’m never ever going to be able to catch them all. It was difficult to balance before I started writing again, a few years ago. And with the writing, it sometimes feels impossible to make time.

Being a Wife, mother, working career woman, daughter, I’m often spread extremely thin. But the writing is for me because I need it to clear my mind, and to be a better person. I need it to relieve stress, to exorcise my demons, and to work through the tangled web of thoughts that get cluttered up in my head. Making time in the midst of hearing my name called hundreds of times a day, can be extremely challenging, but I try every day.

Stories have always been something that I have always loved and needed, almost as much as the air that I breathe. Reading a good book and allowing it to transport, inspire me, and fill me with it’s beauty has opened me up to worlds that I never knew existed. Writing about them has been a privilege and has given me more joy than I ever thought possible.

But I’m torn as most of us are, when it comes to meeting our own needs, and meeting the needs of others. A great many of us, when we get to choose, put the needs of others first. I truly think that there are times that we have to give ourselves permission to choose to do the things that make us whole and make us feel right. Whether it is writing, or going to a yoga class, or a concert, or sitting in a coffee shop alone for an hour with our thoughts, we should just allow ourselves the time. We have to realize that we don’t do it to neglect our responsibilities, or the people in our lives that mean the most to us, but we need to do it in order to make ourselves whole. The better that we are, the better we can be for those around us. If we are not whole, we truly can’t be the person that we are meant to be.

We don’t always look at our lives like this. But I know that its what I need, for me. The reality is, that sometimes we simply become frustrated by our own lack of personal time to do the things that we want to do.

I don’t question that I can do everything. I know that I can, slowly, steadily, and with great care. I know that my children won’t be little for long and that they won’t want my attention as much in a few years. I know that my life today will be very different from my life in ten years from now. So for day, I have to be realistic in my priorities. I have to suck up the frustration sometimes and write when I can, not always when I want to. I have to accept that the story is still within me, waiting to be told, but that it’s going to be told a little slower than I may want it to.

Setting realistic priorities, expectations, and goals, will help me to be the best possible Me that there is. Which is best for everyone! ❤

Blog Challenge Day 16-Bucket List

What is at the top of my bucket list?

Once upon a time, writing a book was at the top of my bucket list. It’s been at the top of the list all of my life, but I could never seem to do it. I had great ideas, I had wonderful starts, but then something else came along….work, getting married, having a child, a sick parent…and I lost focus and never finished.

But those were all just excuses, because I still have all of those things in my life yet August 9th I self-published my first book. So at the top of my bucket list now, is to finish my second book. I am 80% finished with the first draft of that one.

I’ve been fortunate and when I think about it, I have most of the things in my life that I want. Not everything, but I’m thankful for that too. There are still things in my bucket list~ Travel internationally, transform into a size 2, write my 10th book, but right now at the top is to finish the second. I’m sure book 3 will work it’s way to the top of the list when book 2 is done.

I never imagined that I would finish book 1. But then I realized that I wasn’t getting any younger (bummer) and that the only person holding me back, was ME. I had stories to tell, and hadn’t yet told them, so I knew that it was time to just sit down and get it done. And I did, one word, one paragraph, and one chapter at a time. Next thing I know, I get to be an Author, and I feel fulfilled and complete but eager for the next challenge.

As for travelling the world and transforming into a size 2….. I think I’ll finish book 2 first and then see what happens 🙂