Losing Eva~an excerpt

Brynn heard a noise. She turned from the monitor, and saw Adam racing into the room. His thick brown hair was disheveled and his beautiful blue eyes the color of the sea, wide with distress. “Brynn, you’re awake!” he said, his voice full of concern. Brynn never tired of hearing him talk. She loved his voice and everything about him. To think that she nearly lost him forever still chilled her to the bone. Living life without him in it for those long months was the worst time of her life. Even thinking about it made her want to cry, and she pushed the memory out of her mind. She knew that if she thought about it, she would remain in a dark mood for the rest of the day. And there were too many other things to with which to contend.
Brynn couldn’t blame Adam for leaving. She had inexplicably withdrawn her love, leaving him alone even after he had always taken care of her. She hadn’t left him with much of a choice.
“You’ve abandoned me, Brynn!” Adam would say to her time and time again in frustration. “You won’t even discuss having a family with me! You just wallow! If I had known that this is who you would become when I married you…” Adam never finished the sentence, but Brynn knew that he would never have married her in the first place.
They fell in love at 15, and Adam was the only person to teach Brynn how to live, to laugh, and to smile. Even though Adam knew she had endured more than any one person should have, he wanted Brynn to want to be happy, to be happy with him. And as much as he loved her, he needed her to love him too.
Adam needed her to let him love her, but Brynn refused, so he left.
Those months without him were hell.
Now Brynn knew what life would be like without him, and she was never going to lose him again. Adam came back after he left, love finally winning out over the anger and confusion.
Brynn sometimes wondered whether he would have come back if Rose hadn’t died. She knew it didn’t matter because her adopted mother did die, and Adam did come back and she chastised herself for trying to over think it.
But it wasn’t an easy road for either of them, and they worked through much in the past year and a half since he moved home.
“I’m never leaving you again Brynn,” Adam would say to her repeatedly. “I’ll never hurt you again.”
“I want to believe you Adam,” Brynn was stubborn, and her heart had a hard time letting go of the fear. “I want to, but I just don’t.” Adam would try to hold her, and Brynn would stiffen up, pushing him away with her fear.
“Stop pushing me away. You don’t have to push me away anymore.” Adam won out, and he was able to hold her close, feeling her heart beating in her chest from the anxiety. “I’ll never abandon you.”
Brynn always felt herself give into the deep, low tone of his voice that she loved so much. She allowed herself to be enveloped in his firm, sturdy arms, but a tiny part of her still wanted to shrink away. She wondered if she would ever stop fighting the happiness he gave her.
She had experienced so much loss in life that she had come to expect it. First, her birth parents, Stacy, Rose, and Adam. Brynn finally decided that she would give herself permission to accept Adam’s love, no matter how long she had it.
When she gave in, there was finally peace

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